


Pearl: Pig in Hell

by Master_of_the_Boot1



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Master_of_the_Boot1/pseuds/Master_of_the_Boot1
Summary: Pearl is as wicked as they come, corrupt and cruel. With her political career on the line, she hires an assassin to kill her competition. All it's going to cost is her soul.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheTruthHertz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTruthHertz/gifts), [Forever_Tank](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Tank/gifts).



> Full credit goes to Forever_Tank and The Truth Hertz. 
> 
> They inspire me and are much more talented than I am. 
> 
> Expect three chapters of murder, madness and lesbianism.

Pearl: Pig in Hell

 

Chapter 1: Blue light special on Assasins

 

Author’s note: Special Thanks to ThetruthHertz and TankGirl for inspiring me.

 

This story contains graphic violence and sexuality

 

* * *

 

_Delmarva State, Ocean Town_

 

Pearl Pringle looked around the tiny internet cafe as she glanced back and forth on her laptop. The chat line was nothing special, then again, most things on the dark web didn't’ have a lot of flare or frills about them. When trying to peddle kiddie porn, sell stolen goods or hire out assassins, customer comfort wasn’t high on the priorities list.

 

Pearl kept staring at the black screen with green letters like she was trying to burn a hole in her laptop with her mind.

 

“Would you like some more coffee?” the waitress with bright eyes asked.

 

Snapping, Pearl snarled at her, “No!” she growled. Ignoring the waitress she wondered if perhaps this wasn’t the right place to shop for an online assassin to murder her political arch rival. She ground her teeth and clenched her hands as she waited for the person on the other end to reply.

 

**Dangerous-renegade117: So do we have a deal?**

 

**Madeofluv666: We’ll see.**

 

**Dangerous-renegade117: What the fuck do you mean!! I’m paying you for this shit you asshole!**

 

Pearl growled and looked around. Nobody here recognized her. “Fucking slow WiFi,” she muttered to herself. “Making a senator sit in this shithole.” though truthfully she’d chosen this spot with a cheap laptop to hire her assassin.

 

She sat up, looking through her dark sunglasses and under her wide brimmed hat.

 

**Madeofluv666: Look behind you**

 

Pearl looked at the message several times, like it was written in Swahili. “What the fuck?” Turning around, she nearly pissed herself with shock as a heavy hand clamped down on her shoulder with an iron grip.

 

“You’re under arrest cunt!” said a British accented, contralto voice, “You have the right to bend over and take it in your sweet ass!”

 

“Get off me!” Pearl shouted loud enough that everyone in the coffee shop looked over at her. “I’m Pearl Fucking Pringle, senator! Who the fuck are, you, you hooligan?”

 

“I’m Made of Love,” said the black woman with a grin, her sunglasses sparkling in the sunlight. “It’s good to meet you, I’ve never met a senator before.” The black woman leaned in close to that Pearl could hear her whisper, “And I’ve never been hired to kill by a senator before.”

 

Pearl froze, “So you’re the one I want. Why are you here? I shouldn't be seen talking to you! I know you probably never finished fourth grade, but you must know what plausible deniability is?”

 

The black woman turned her head, cracking her neck. Sitting down in the booth with Pearl, she yawned and smiled again. “Well senator, I just wanted to comfort you by letting you know you’re not getting some nogoodnik who’ll take your money and run, or some gun nut who reads too much soldier of fortune. I’m the genuine article. You can call me Garnet.”

 

Pearl squirmed in her seat like a cornered animal. “So you know what I want. You know who I want . . . taken care of?”

 

Garnet put her arms behind her head, showing off her impressive biceps that threatened to rip open her cheap, torn t-shirt. “Excuse me, may I have some coffee?” she said to the waitress that Pearl had insulted. “I would like it black, please.” With a bit of flair, she cracked her knuckles through black leather gloves.

 

The waitress blushed at Garnet’s ivory white smile, she fought to avoid looking down the front of her shirt. Judging by how cold it was, Garnet clearly wasn’t wearing a bra under her Adventure Time t-shirt. “Right away, miss.”

 

“Thank you,” Garnet said with drawling ease. She turned to Garnet. “So you want Sadie Miller taken care of. Sweet, chubby, sexy Sadie Miller; former donut girl, former parent teacher association president in Beach City, former social worker, former Beach City Mayor and senate hopeful.”

 

“I know who she is,” Pearl growled at the maddening woman. “That little bitch is closer in the polls than she ever should have gotten. My seat should have been safe if not for her hash tag activism and idiotic slogans.”

 

“Sour grapes, senator,” Garnet smiled as a steaming cup of coffee was placed before you. “You know, this is your fault as much as hers.”

 

“You dare, you little black. . .” Pearl trailed off as Garnet just kept on smiling.

 

The other woman smiled and sipped her coffee. “I guess a lot of people hate you and think you’re a cunt. Gay people who want to adopt. Trans people who want to live. Women who want to abort a pregnancy.”

 

Pearl’s eyes bulged and the vein in her temple pulsed. “Now listen here, I am a good, upstanding Christian woman and I will not take slander from you. If I wasn’t there preserving the moral order of this great state, we’d all be in chaos right now. We would be overrun with drugs and gangs if not for me! I stand with god and god has chosen me to be senator, which is why you need to help out Sadie Miller and get her to drop from the race.”

 

Garnet put down her cup of coffee, having drained it one gulp. “No, senators I’m not knocking you.” She leaned in and pushed out her chest. Pearl’s eyes were instantly drawn to what the t-shirt was hiding. She bit her lip and rubbed her thighs together because she was a good Christian woman who did not engage in sin and definitely did not favor women.

 

“You got some serious psycho style, Pearl,” Garnet purred like she was having an orgasm at the table, “I _like_ it.”

 

The senator sniffed and tried to compose herself under the onslaught of debauchery and temptation sent by satan himself. Yes Garnet was very well put together but Pearl was beyond that, she’d been cured of those urges a long time ago and by Jesus she was going to stay that way. “You want the money or not?”

 

Garnet put her face in her hands, “When do you want it done?”

 

“Before the final debate,” said Pearl, “Sadie’s alternative is a dead beat loser who knows where his bread is buttered. Donald Fryman doesn’t offend my donors or the lobbyists I court and he does not engage in this me-too nonsense that has gone much too far and targeted too many innocent men.”

 

“Right before the debate, I will talk to Sadie Miller and you will give me fifty thousand dollars,” said Garnet, pushing up her breasts with her arms.

 

“Fifty thousand!” Pearl was apoplectic! “We agreed on half that!”

 

“No, no and no,” Garnet laughed in a way that made Pearl’s pussy light up. Damn her sexy voice! Damn her ebony smooth skin and cute Afro! Pearl drank some of her cold coffee to take her mind off of the musky wetness in her pants.

 

Garnet stretched out in the booth, “You suggested that amount, but I charge fifty. This isn’t something you can haggle, like the price of a ring at a pawn shop. Pay up or find a new bitch, Pearl.”

 

As the woman stood up, Pearl had to stop her. “Wait, fine, you’ll get it. Just get it done before the debates.”

 

Garnet grinned before taking Pearl’s hand. “Agree to marry me and It’s a done deal for thirty thousand.”

 

Pearl shook her head, “Yes yes, whatever, now just get her.”

 

Garnet kissed Pearl’s hand and felt her shiver, “As you wish, now if you’ll excuse me I need to get my pussy licked. I’ll let you know when I’m successful.”

 

When she was gone, Pearl paid for her coffee and did not tip the waitress. She ran into the women’s bathroom, locked the door and masturbated for the first time since her son was born. Working her folds and playing with her clit, Pearl took only minutes to get off. Truthfully it was the first orgasm she’d had in . . . it didn’t fucking matter.

 

Pearl looked into the bathroom mirror. She froze as she looked at the person looking back at her. Screaming, she punched the mirror. Cracks spider webbed across it and pain shot through her knuckles. Taking deep breaths in order to keep from hyperventilating, Pearl started talking to her shattered reflection. “It is these who have not defiled themselves with women, for they are virgins.”

 

She stopped as she let her crimson life drip from her hand into the sink. “It is these who follow the lamb wherever he goes. These have been redeemed from mankind as first fruits for God and the Lamb and in their mouth no lie was found for they are blameless.”

 

The senator winced as she reached for a paper towel. She looked mournfully upon her reflection and her weakness as a woman of god. “It was nothing, Pearl, it was nothing. God still loves you and wants you to keep this seat. You’re doing God’s work, don’t fuck it up now.” Snorting, her nostrils flared as she stormed out of the bathroom. Pearl shoved the waitress out of the way and opened the coffee shop door hard enough that the glass cracked.

 

Jumping into her car, she cursed as she ran back into the coffee shop to get her laptop. It wouldn’t do to leave behind incriminating evidence. She could not do God’s work if she was rotting in jail.

 

She drove out of the parking lot with tires screeching. As she sped home, the phone went off. Cursing, she pressed a button on her phone as the car speakers linked up with her phone’s blue tooth connection. “This is Senator Pringle, how can I help you?”

 

“Hello,” a bitch voice boomed over the speakers, “This is Mayor Diamante. Remember me? It’s Juane.”

 

Pearl’s voice was high, cheerful and filled with bells and sunshine. There was no trace of the bitter, cynical woman who’d talked down to Garnet and very nearly said a bunch of really racist stuff that would have been in vogue in the eighteen hundreds. “Oh yes, I remember. It’s so good to hear from you, Madam Mayor. How are you, how is your family?”

 

“Take your good girl act and stick right back up your ass where you found it,” snarled the Mayor. “I called to tell you that I hope your campaign crashes and burns that you end up blowing people for crack money at the bus station; you loathsome, closeted, two faced, chicken shit mother fucker!”

 

She laughed like a doll with a pull string, Pearl clenched the steering wheel with white knuckles. “Oh Madam Mayor, there’s no need to be uncivil. I’m just trying to stand up for family values in this state. And we can’t all follow Empire city politics and debauchery. Some people still believe in good old fashioned morality and hard work.”

 

“Blow me you fucking skank!” shouted the Mayor, “You believe in electrocuting gay kids until they don’t remember their own names. You blocked funding for HIV testing and led to the worst epidemic in Empire City history. I hope you fucking choke on your hypocrisy you stupid bitch! Oh by the way, Yennifer says hi! Say hi darling!”

 

Another voice came over the speaker phone, a highly nasal one. “Hey big sister!” shouted Yennifer, sounding more like a child than a grown woman. “Mommy and me are going to have some fun, do you want to join, big sister?”

 

Pearl had to choke back her bile at the sound of her degenerate sister. “I’ll pray for you, Yennifer.”

 

There was a squeak and a slap as someone apparently spanked Yennifer. “Oh mommy, that’s so good! Spank your little girl harder, mommy! Yennifer has been a bad little girl!”

 

“Oh yeah you have, Yen, and Mommy Diamond is going to take you for a ride. Now earn that lollipop!”

 

Pearl hung up the phone before this debauchery could go on any further. To say the least, her relationship with her sister’s wasn’t great; as both Bonnie and Yennifer had turned away from Jesus years ago to live lives of sin. She did not know how they both didn’t have HIV at this point because of their depraved and unChristian lifestyles.

 

The house was pulling up and Pearl did her best to put on a happy face. Chances are that Bill was home. A wife always needed to be subservient to her husband and Pearl needed to be subservient to Bill. That was the way of the lord and that was what Jesus wanted.

 

It hurt when she smiled and it hurt even worse when Bill Dewey-Pringle came running out of the garden with their son, Steven. “Oh hello, my little songbird!” He laughed and gave Pearl a big kiss.

 

Pearl felt like she was going to vomit. She always did when Bill kissed her, but she forced herself to kiss back like she always did. “Oh Bill, let me come and make dinner for you!”

 

“Hello mom,” said her son, Steven. The chubby boy looked up at his mother with a mix of love and fear. “I would like dinner.”

 

Instantly, Pearl scowled at Steven, “You’re much too fat, Steven. Your diet isn’t working, are you cheating on your diet?”

 

Bill just laughed, good naturedly laughing at his wife’s seeming concern and completely missing the flash of emotional pain across Steven’s face. “Oh he’s a growing boy, he’ll grow out of the baby fat soon.”

 

Pearl laughed with Bill because that’s what wives do for their husbands. Already she wished she was back at the office, meeting with lobbyists and church leaders. she’d do anything to get away from her family but she had domestic duties on top of her public ones. Those duties she could not neglect lest she spit in the face of the lord.

 

So Pearl forced herself to smile and went inside to cook dinner, even though Bill hadn’t worked all day and she was exhausted morally and physically.

 

It’s what a wife had to do.

 

* * *

 

_Empire City,_

 

Garnet whistled as she worked out. As she did push-ups, flies swarmed the apartment. She breathed heavily, in and out as she reached her one hundredth push-up with a hundred pound weight on her back. She definitely did not get this good looking just by accident. It was a work in progress.

 

The drip, drip of blood accompanied each push-up. Garnet stood up, flexing her arms. “A hundred and fifty, not bad. What do you think, Mr. Pig?” she asked the severed pig’s spiked on a broken coat rack next to the TV. Garnet then turned to the woman dangling upside down, naked from rusted chains. “What do you think, Vidalia?”

 

Vidalia didn’t respond because her throat had been cut to the bone, her blood drained into a large plastic basin. Her gelatinous, dead eyes stared straight ahead and the flies were already getting on her dead body.

 

Garnet nodded a the imaginary answer that Vidalia’s carcass had given her. “Right, never rest on your laurels, I suppose.”

 

The Assassin threw off her shirt and let her boobs hang free. The flies swarmed the sweat soaked shirt as she began to perform burpees. When one hundred of those were done it was time for some sit-ups. Fairly basic stuff, but Garnet couldn’t afford to slack off in any way. She had more than ego on the line, this was how her mother and mum had raised her.

 

With two hundred sit-ups out of the way, Garnet threw off her bottoms and stood fully nude in the house. Dressed in nothing but her sunglasses, Garnet grinned and made to talk like a sports announcer, “Announcing the Beast Champion Warrior Killer, give it up for Garnet Gruyere!” She began to bow, fully nude. Her muscles flexed and her boobs bobbed up and down.

 

The assassin grinned, “Thank you, Thank you! I wanted to thank Ruby and Sapphire for making me the perfect killing machine. I couldn’t have done it without you too. And I also wanted to thank my music teacher, Mrs. Sardonyx.”

 

Rolling her shoulders to work the kinks out, Garnet walked over to the bathroom. She sniffed her towel. It smelled like shit. She shrugged and decided she was too lazy to to the laundry today. She glanced over at the rack of swords and battle axes that stood next to the toilet paper holder. Garnet frowned as she realized that one of her bastard swords was slightly rusty. “Ruby would shit a chicken if she could see this. Well fuck her, I’ll oil this bitch after the shower.”

 

Garnet smiled and took off her glasses, throwing them to the floor. Stepping into the scalding stream of water, she smiled and looked up at the ceiling. Nailed to the mouldy, cockroach infested ceiling was a giant picture of Pearl Pringle. The large image was made up of dozens of laminated, printed sheets. Pearl was praying at church in the picture, with dozens of reporters and camera men watching. It was important to boast one’s piety as loudly and obnoxiously as possible.

 

Drawn over the collage of the pious woman, were hundreds of curse words in a dozen languages, written in blood. Over the entire thing was a giant pentagram, similarly written in blood. Pearl’s eyes had been scratched out with a knife and said blade was shoved through her vagina. Garnet smiled as she started feeling up her nipples. “Oh Pearl, when we get married I’m going to take you to heaven and hell.”


	2. Does this look infected?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this one, Garnet shops for a wedding dress, Pearl talks about butter and Greg takes it up the ass. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story contains violence and references to noncon. 
> 
> There's also a reference to Dune here, see if you can spot it

Pearl: Pig in Hell

 

Chapter 2: Does this look infected?

 

All Credit goes to Forever Tank and The Truth Hertz

 

_New Jersey, Famethyst House, this morning_

 

The so called Famethyst House was home to the Amethyst family. Or that’s what they called themselves. They were all a bunch of fucking idiots so it didn’t matter what they called each other.

 

Jasper, Skinny and Amethyst all gathered around the kitchen table, guzzling down a big bowl of human gumbo and watching fight club on VHS. The three dark skinned women looked like shitty villains from a bad eighties cartoon. Jasper the big buff one with too much spray tan, Skinny the fucking obviously named one and Amethyst the dumbass of the group.

 

As Jasper stood up to get another bowl of human soup from the kitchen of their humble crack house, she saw Garnet standing there.

 

Garnet punched Jasper in the face and sent her teeth flying all over the supper table. The giant steroid woman went down like a house of cards. Jasper always had a glass jaw.

 

Skinny lunged at Garnet with a gleaming machete, Garnet caught Skinny’s wrist and judo threw her across the room. Skinny crashed into the TV, her head smashing through the screen. Shards of glass pierced her face and her body twitched with electricity.

 

Amethyst tried to grab the shotgun next to the bread rolls. She would have gotten it except that Garnet smashed her over the head with the metal gumbo pot. Amethyst hit the floor and Garnet pinned her down. Grabbing a large hunting knife from her belt, Garnet cut off Amethyst’s right arm; sawing through the limb like a tenderloin.

 

Amethyst screamed as she stared at the bleeding stump of an arm. “What the fuck, Garnet? Not again!”

 

“Two things,” Garnet said as she stood up. “I need to borrow one of Skinny’s slutty dresses. And two, you clogged my toilet the last time you were at my house. Don’t let it happen again, or I’ll really go ape shit on you fools.”

 

“What?!” Amethyst cried out.

 

Her only reply was for Garnet to stomp on her crotch as hard as she could. The purple haired Latin girl screamed and covered her bruised pussy with her remaining hand. Garnet meanwhile, went to get a dress that fit from this pack of fuckwits.

* * *

 

_Delmarva, Church of Saint Sugar, later morning_

 

Pearl smiled and nodded as the obese woman wiped sweat from her brow. “You are our great hope, Pearl,” she huffed, “You are our great white hope, my sweet darling.”

 

On the church pews, the fat woman handed her soaked hankie to a bony woman with a hawk’s face that watched Pearl like she wanted to eat her.

 

“You can rely on me, Mrs. Buttercombe,” Pearl chirped. “My love of God is stronger then ever and I’m doing everything I can to win this election.”

 

The fat lady put a meaty paw on Pearl’s shoulder and squeezed way too hard. Her red hair was soaked with sweat and her pale skin was flush red. In the dim light of the church, Mrs. Buttercombe’s spider black eyes reflected nothing. “There’s a war going on, Pearl, for the souls of every man, woman and child in this great nation. It’s not just this state, but you’re one of our major soldiers in this war. You’re going to be a big help especially because Delmarva is going to be a swing state in the next election.”

 

“So don’t fuck it up,” said the hawk faced woman.

 

Mrs. Buttercombe chuckled, a throaty laugh that made her sound like a contralto opera singer. “Shush, Petra, or I’ll shut your fucking mouth for you.” The fat lady turned back to Pearl and kept squeezing her shoulder. “Now Dear, if you win this election over the dyke, heathen Sadie Miller there will be many rewards in heaven for you, and many earthly rewards.”

 

“Earthly prosperity is how God shows his love for us,” Pearl parroted, repeating what she’d been taught all her life.

 

“So you know that the Butter-Corp Energy Corporation has deep pockets,” said Mrs. Buttercombe, “You can expect many campaign donations coming your way. You could go far, Pearl, you could go to become governor or even President if you play nicely and do everything we tell you to.”

 

Pearl nodded once more, internally growing weary of Mrs. Buttercombe’s iron grip and her constant sweating despite the church’s freezing AC.

 

The fat lady gave Pearl a sly look. “Technically, God wants you to have more money than we can legally give you as a campaign donation so it will have to be laundered through this church. You can keep quiet about the money laundering, can’t you Pearl?”

 

Pearl nodded again, fighting revulsion with her love of money. “You can count on me, Mrs. Buttercombe,” she repeated her lines like a performing seal barking on command. “I won’t let you down and I’ll lay down my life to build God’s kingdom on earth.”

 

“And if you fuck this up, I’ll be coming by your house with a stick of butter and a broom handle,” threatened Petra.

 

“Petra, you’re such a fucking ugly cunt,” Mrs. Buttercombe chortled, “Maybe you’re the one that should be worried that you don’t end up in my husband’s ice box. Maybe you should be worried that you’ll end up in my milking stall.”

 

Petra sneered at her employed but bit her tongue.

 

Pearl blinked, “Oh those ridiculous rumours,” she laughed politely.

 

Mrs. Buttercombe didn’t laugh back. “I’m hurt, hurt, Pearl! By God, these damn rumours will be the end of me.” She made a show of starting to get misty eyed. “People are going around and accusing me of molesting two year old boys and raping them with frozen sticks of butter.”

 

Pearl laughed again as she fought the urge to throw up. She needed Buttercombe’s money, needed it all; which was why she put up with this. Though she hated the fact that Buttercombe hadn’t let go of her shoulder since they got into the church.

 

Buttercombe looked to the statue of Jesus by the altar. “And these are worse rumours by slanderous media sources. The media are the true enemies of God, Pearl. They say that I keep women prisoner to milk and make butter, and that I have a giant butter sculpture of Adolf Hitler in my walk in freezer with a dog’s penis that I like to fuck.”

 

She just kept laughing, “All journalists should be shot,” Pearl politely agreed.

 

However Mrs. Buttercombe wasn’t listening. “There are so many rumours about me and butter. Actually, I’m getting aroused just thinking about butter.” She was sweating now and turning flush but it wasn’t sadness. And judging by the musky spot forming on her XXXXX sized panties, the rumours may have been true about the Butter Fuhrer.

 

Mrs. Buttercombe pulled her hand away from Pearl. Never had the thing, long nosed woman felt so close to puking in a church. Not since . . Sheena. But that wasn’t good to remember. Those were sinful times. There was a big, sweaty hand print on Pearl’s shirt and she knew that she’d rather burn this shirt than wash it.

 

The fat lady and her assistant got up, but not before giving Pearl a _big_ smile full of white teeth. “Remember, Pearl, you’re one of God’s soldiers and we are the generals in this war for heaven. You’ll do just fine in the upcoming debate, you have no choice.”

 

Pearl laughed and nodded again.

 

When she was gone, and her sponsors were gone, she went to the church bathroom and puked up the pancake breakfast she’d cooked for Bill this morning.

 

Wincing and gagging, Pearl wiped her mouth and went to the bathroom sink. Looking at herself in the mirror, she pulled out a box of breath mints and popped a few in her mouth. The campaign was still going on, and she needed to look and act her best.

 

Mrs. Buttercombe was one of the richest woman in the state and Pearl needed that money for this election and beyond. As she thought about that obese woman touching her, she thought about the touch of women.

 

The mental image of a sexy, muscular black lady popped into her mind. Garnet’s white smile entered her mind and Pearl started forming her own musky little spot on her panties.

 

“NO!” Pearl screamed and punched the mirror. Cracks ran along the length and she started hyperventilating. “I am a straight, happily married woman with a son who isn’t a faggot,” she reassured herself. “I was cured of my homosexuality and saved by the grace of god.”

 

Pearl fought off the panic attack. It had been years since she’d had one. She reached into her purse and swallowed a few Valium pills, chasing it with a drink from a mouth wash travel bottle. She gasped and winced as she mixed downers with mouthwash like a Russian peasant.

 

Prince Valium helped Pearl calm down, though the panic attack stayed around the edges of her brain. “I am not a lesbian. I am cured. I do not want to fuck that little black delinquent, Garnet.”

 

Finally, Pearl put that omnipresent smile on her face and walked back to her car.

 

Getting into her car, Pearl received a phone call over the blue tooth. “This is Pearl Pringle, Senator, how can I help you.”

 

“You took the car from me, you fucking cunt,” said the breathy voice over the car speakers.

 

Pearl gave a coquettish laugh as she started her car and sped out of the church parking lot. “Oh Hello, Brigitte, it’s been too long.”

 

“That muscle car was the only thing our bitch of a mother left me in her will,” Pearl’s other sister said in a quiet, breathy voice. “And you’ve taken it from me.”

 

Pearl laughed again, “Well Brigitte. If you renounced your sinful ways, maybe you could collect what is yours. When it comes time, Jesus will judge you for your lying with women. I have to go, I’ll pray for you, sister.”

 

“And I’ll take an incredible shit in your kitchen,” Brigitte promised, “Right on top of your stove.”

 

“Cunt,” Pearl snarled as her sister hung up.

* * *

 

_Beach City, That’s a Wash, that afternoon_

 

Greg Universe was a simple man. Once upon a time he’d tried to become a rock star. His manager Marty had raped him repeatedly and gotten him addicted to heroine. He’d made millions only to become homeless. He’d survived by selling plasma and he’d gotten a girl pregnant who hated his guts and took his son.

 

Yet Greg tried to be positive. He owned a car wash now. He was making music again. He’d put together a sound track for an Indie video game. He only got paid a hundred bucks and a case of beer, but he’d never felt richer.

 

Some days Greg wanted to find his son again, but he knew it was impossible. Besides, he was better off being raised by a senator than an old dope like him.

 

Greg’s musings were interrupted by a blue car approaching. Greg’s heart nearly stopped as a sexy Armenian nun in a blue head scarf looked at him with the biggest, saddest blue eyes he’d ever seen. “Hey there, Miss, can can I do for ya?” he gave his best winning smile.

 

The nun gave him a faint smile. Sitting next to her was a heavily pierced and tattooed young woman with blue hair. A blue Pearl on a necklace dangled as she shifted. “Can you wash our vehicle, young man?”

 

“And Make it quick,” said the girl with the Pearl in a voice that went straight to Greg’s balls.

 

A necklace glittered on the Nun’s chest, and she had a lot of chest under the dress shirt. Greg eyes her pendant. It was a Jesus necklace; except that Jesus had a boner the size of his leg and it was sexual ecstasy on his face as he hung from the cross. Beneath his elephant sized mega penis, BDSM Jesus had a small blue diamond set where his basketball sized testicles would be.

 

The nun’s smile grew as she saw Greg staring at her chest. “Young man, do you like pegging?”

 

Greg gulped and went pale. “Please do me hard, mommy,” he blurted out. “So uh, where did you ladies come from?”

 

The blue pearl girl answered, “We murdered Robot Hitler.”

 

The blue diamond nun turned to her travel Partner, “Brigitte, go into the trunk and fetch the sex toys. God wants us to stop and worship.”

 

“So uh, I take it you girls want more than Prayer?” Greg was nervous but so happy.

 

“Get in the office and spread your ass cheeks for us,” the nun commanded. “We can wash our car after worship.”

 

“Yes, mommy,” Greg replied dutifully.

* * *

 

_Sadie Miller’s house, that night_

 

Garnet stood next to her black, unmarked van and eyed Sadie Miller in the scope of a sniper rifle. She had the perfect shot, but she felt anxious. This was too easy. Sadie had been put under police protection when white nationalists and hate groups had given her death threats. Unlike Pearl Pringle, Sadie Miller wasn’t one of the “good girls.”

 

This was harder for Garnet but not impossible. Finding a gap in the police schedule wasn’t hard for an experienced killer like her. But it felt all wrong.

 

The night was hot and Garnet’s nipples were standing straight up through her shirt. She was getting anxious and needed to find an outlet for her energy.

 

She smiled and put down her rifle as Sadie and her mother Barbara had supper, oblivious to the danger.

 

Getting into the van, Garnet grabbed a radio transmitter tuned to police frequencies. “Alpha-Five-Five-Charlie-Zero, there is a BOLO for highway number nine. High speed chase, reports of gunfire and officers down. Respond immediately.”

 

Like that, the police cruisers around Sadie’s House sped off to the highway, leaving only one vehicle to protect her.

 

Garnet gave a happy smile as she took off her jacket and shirt. Going topless, she threw the sniper rifle into the passenger seat of her van. Reaching under the seat of her vehicle, she grabbed a giant battle axe and started walking towards the Miller House.


	3. Dante's Sex Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl dies and goes to hell. 
> 
> It's as easy as that. 
> 
> There was no way she was getting a happy ending or redemption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wrote this story in response to a story that was a real mindfuck. 
> 
> As a result, I did something that was so . . . me. 
> 
> This chapter was such a joy to write. Even if it's not for everyone. I hope you enjoy it, just the same. 
> 
> There's going to be an epilogue after this, but beyond that let me know what you think.

Pearl: Pig in Hell

 

Chapter 3: Dante’s Sex Inferno

 

Author’s note: The following story contains extreme violence, graphic content, child abuse, homophobic bigoted and bigoted language and non consent. Reader discretion is advised.

 

Also goujons are a type of french chicken finger

 

The following story owes its existence to the very talented ForeverTank and TheTruthHertz

* * *

 

 

_Delmarva, One Hour after the Election_

 

“ _In the largest electoral upset in State History, incumbent Senator Pearl Pringle was defeated in a landslide by Challenger Lars Bariga. After the resignation of Donald Fryman, Bariga stepped in to fill the role of the alternate for the deceased Sadie Miller._

 

_As of yet, police have no leads regarding the murder of the senate hopeful Sadie Miller, her mother and two police officers. Currently this is the largest manhunt in Delmvarva State history._

 

_This is a time of transition for our fair state. A senator long plagued by controversy is ousted amidst accusations of electoral tampering and voter suppression as well as corruption charges. A long champion of the Evangelical Right, Pearl Pringle is now ousted by a trans man with a strong union and activist ties. Only time will tell if he can be the senator that Sadie Miller promised. This is Kiki Pizza with your local news!”_

 

Pearl drove her fist into the car radio. Sparks flew as the knobs broke off. Her knuckles bled but she could hardly care about that right now. The now former senator was seeing red, the veins in her temples pulsing. She was so angry she could burst a blood vessel.

 

Sitting next to her with a face streaked by tears was her son Steven. The boy grabbed fistfuls of the blue dress he wore and looked straight down so he wouldn't have to look his mother in the eye.

 

Pearl’s words came in stops and starts as her sheer anger prevented her from coherent thought or sentences. “You see what you’re doing to me, Steven? I SAID DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO ME!”

 

Steven yelped but looked down. He was about to start crying when Pearl slapped him across the face.

 

“Don’t you cry like a girl, you fat, worthless faggot!” she screamed as the car smashed over some garbage cans left out on a residential street. They were definitely going above the speed limit and Pearl could hardly give a rat’s ass at this point. “On the night when my career is ruined, you choose to hang out with that off color little Indian girl—without my permission—and you do it while prancing around like a little faggot transvestite! Have I done nothing right as a mother? Are you doing this just to punish me.”

 

“No,” Steven whispered.

 

Pearl slapped her son across the face again, turning his chubby cheek bruise red. “Speak like a man and not a girl!”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with being a girl,” Steven whispered.

 

This time Pearl grabbed Steven by the ear and twisted as hard as she could. Sparks flew as the car scraped against a side rail. She ground her teeth as her son screamed and whined and begged for her to stop hurting him. As the familiar houses of their neighbourhood started revealing themselves in the car’s headlights, Pearl went for something a little more persuasive than a pinched ear.

 

The glove box opened up and Pearl grabbed the nine millimetre handgun that had been sitting there; purchased around the time that she’d first met Garnet. She took the gun and pressed it against her son’s bruised cheek. Instantly, he went quiet.

 

Pearl’s ragged breathing and stilted words were the only sounds in the car as Steven became too afraid even to breathe. “If I ever see you with her again, I’m going to shoot and kill that little off color girl, Connie. Do you understand? If I see you wearing a dress and prancing around like some little queer I’m going to shoot you. Am I clear?”

 

Steven just nodded, frozen utterly.

 

Pearl’s anger did not let up. Upon threatening to kill her only child, she slammed on the brakes and stopped just shy of crashing into the garage door. Jumping out of the car, Pearl went over to the passenger side and grabbed her son by his curly hair.

 

Steven couldn’t help but cry out in pain as his mother dragged him into the house. Hauling him up the steps, she had a moment of clarity; Steven was very heavy and if Pearl hadn’t stopped exercising years ago he’d be easier to carry.

 

Getting up to Steven’s room, she threw her son onto the floor where he landed on legos that he should have put away like she’d fucking told him. As her son began crying openly and unstoppably, Pearl slammed the door shut and locked it from the outside. She’d specially had this kind of lock because she wanted Steven to have no privacy as he grew older and she wanted to keep him prisoner if she needed to punish him.

 

Pearl stormed downstairs where a foul smell greeted her. She screamed in inchoate fury as she realized her sister Bridgette had in fact kept her word and left a brown, steaming coil on top of the stove.

 

Her heart was pounding a tattoo into her ribs and she was so angry it was getting hard to breathe. The kitchen phone rang at the same time and the voice of Mrs. Buttercombe rang over the answering machine. “ _Hello Pearl, you fucked up. That’s okay. Because you’ll never work again. Don’t even think about trying to land a lobbying job, I’ll block it like you’re nothing. Have a nice day and enjoy being a stay at home mom. Tell Bill I said hello.”_

 

Pearl held the gun with one hand while she tore out her hair with the other. She hardly noticed as a fair handful of copper coloured hair was pulled out by the root. She slumped against a wall because her hyperventilating was cutting off her air flow.

 

As she managed to steady herself a little bit, Pearl started saying a prayer aloud. “Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done. Give us this day our daily bread.” She stopped as she began gasping. She felt tears start to tickle her eyes.

 

Pearl grabbed her hair again and started pulling at it. She could not cry. She hadn’t cried since she’d died. Since S—

 

Never mind. Best not to remember.

 

Pearl looked around. She took off at a spring to the garage. Opening the side door, she turned on the flickering fluorescent lights that she’d been meaning to replace but couldn’t.

 

Rummaging through Bill’s tools, Pearl grabbed a small leash and a tiny collar that had been sitting behind and old tin of screws. “Lion!” Pearl shouted in faux cheer, while the lights flickered overhead in dizzying patterns. “Come here, Lion, I’ve got something for you to eat, you stupid cat.”

 

The lights stopped flickering, and Pearl saw her.

 

Garnet grinned as she reclined on an old, moth eaten easy chair. “Ten bucks says I can shove this bird up my ass,” as she petted an equally moth eaten taxidermy owl. “How’ve you been, sexy?”

 

“You!” Pearl seethed, her veins pulsing again and her red rage returning. “You did this to me!”

 

“Were you going to get Steven to kill the family cat?” Garnet asked. “Nothing makes a faggot into a man more than killing a small, defenceless animal. Ruby and Sapphire used to make me kill and have sex with dogs. It did wonders for me.”

 

“Everything wrong is because of you!” Pearl screamed, pointing her gun at Garnet. “I’ve lost the election and my son because of you!”

 

Laughter pealed out of Garnet’s perfect smile. “Nah, that’s all you, sweetie. You’re a fuck up of the highest order. God hates you and thinks you’re a cunt. Lucky, you’ve got a dazzling new wife who can make it all go away.”

 

“If I kill you now, I’ll claim self defence,” Pearl snapped, dropping the cat accessories and putting both hands around her gun. The safety was flicked off and the took aim at those large, dark sunglasses Garnet was hiding behind.

 

“You paid me the thirty thousand,” Garnet laughed as she casually stood up. The red dress she wore creaked in protest, being made for a woman roughly half Garnet’s size. “But you also agreed to marry me, and I’ve got a wedding present, honey buns.”

 

Pearl’s eyes widened as Garnet threw down a collection of photographs that she’d hidden behind her back. The anger in Pearl was gone, as if she’d taken a punch to the gut and she could only feel a pain strong enough to override all human feeling.

 

Staring accusingly at Pearl was a pink haired young women hanging dead from a noose; her eyes red and her tongue bloated.

 

“I got so wet when I looked into your back story, Pearl,” Garnet said evenly, “You tried to escape with your girlfriend, Sheena Belmont from the Cluster Hills Gay Rehab Camp. Then you ratted her out. You got out early and she stayed and hanged herself.”

 

For once Pearl had nothing to say as she saw pictures of Sheena dead from the noose as well as security camera footage of the two of them kissing.

 

“You caused her to kill herself, you ruined her life,” Garnet said with a smile, “I like it. It makes me so fucking wet.”

 

Abruptly, Garnet’s dress ripped from the armpits to the nipples.

 

The dark skinned woman laughed, causing her nips to escape. “Look at that? Whatever shall we do, wife of mine?”

 

A gunshot was the answer.

 

Pearl gasped and dropped her gun, screaming in panic; the chains of guilt and rage broken. She dropped to the dusty garage floor.

 

But Garnet stood. Garnet didn’t fall. What’s a little bullet?

 

Her gloved hands clenched and she grinned despite the blood oozing from under her sunglasses. The cracked lenses with a smouldering gave no light and no insight. She started laughing in a wholly good natured way. “I said it before, Pearl. You got some psycho style. You left Sheena for the promise of getting rich and you believed God’s love is money. You destroyed her. I know, I asked her.”

 

The glasses came off. Pearl was left speechless as she got a good look at Garnet’s gory eye hole. She didn’t even think to ask what the fuck Garnet meant by asking “her.”

 

The gloves came off for the first time, revealing burning pentagrams on each palm. Inside the pentagram on the left hand was a red glyph that burned with fire. On the right hand was a blue symbol cold as ice. “I really want you to meet my parents, Pearl; but I’m going to have to destroy both our physical bodies for that to happen. Don’t worry,” she chuckled as a flaming red eye opened on her forehead. “It won’t hurt for very long.”

 

Garnet smiled as she sunk her fingers into a the antique blue car that her mother left for her sister. Pulling back, the sheet metal ripped away like opening a can. Gasoline poured everywhere as Garnet cracked open the vehicle. She smiled as the gas spontaneously combusted

 

Pearl shrieked as Garnet was engulfed in flames. Pearl shat her trousers as Garnet walked over to her like the inhuman torch.

 

“Gimme a hug, sexy!” Garnet shouted merrily over the sound of roasting flesh and crackling flames.

 

Pearl’s cry of agony could be heard all over the neighbourhood as her skin melted off.

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

Pearl must have blacked out because the next thing she saw was that she was falling buck naked down a bottomless chasm. The former senator howled with pure animal terror as she plunged every down, down down. The smell of sulphur drifting on the boiling hots winds that whipped her naked form.

 

When the landing finally came, it was surprisingly soft.

 

A mountain of used diapers broke Pearl’s fall from what must have been several hundred years of falling. Screaming and fighting against the oppressive stench, Pearl howled and tried to stand up, only to get engulfed by an avalanche of used diapers. Landing at the foot of diaper mountain, a bewildered and shit smeared Pearl stood up shakily.

 

She gasped for breath but found that the native air of this place made the mountain of diapers smell like flowers by comparison. “Oh god, where the fuck am?” she asked nobody in particular as she tried to cover up her shame.

 

Lit by heaps of burning tires and flaming dumpsters, Pearl could make out that she was in some kind of massive garbage dump that went on forever. Every place she looked there was only more heaps of garbage and malodorous fumes strong enough to be classified as weapons of mass destruction.

 

There was a rustling among the diapers behind Pearl. She spun around and cried, “Please, help me! I’ve been kidnapped”!

 

It took her a second to realize who was looking at her.

 

The zombie samurai gazed coldly at Pearl with rotten, empty eye sockets. The undead warrior groaned before slamming a wooden spoon into a steel trash can over and over.

 

Pearl began to back up, wincing with pain as she stepped on broken glass and used needles. She spun around as a voice interrupted her.

 

“Hi, I’m Goujon John,” said a middle aged man in a suit, “Owner of Goujon John’s House of Rape and Chicken Fingers.” Before Pearl’s eyes, the man glitched out; a magnetic stripe passing over his body like he was being displayed on a shoddy VHS tape.

 

She whimpered in fear as Goujon John _glitched_ towards her with like a fuzzy, VHS phantom. Goujon John’s face alternated between artificial cheer and open lip licking, tongue flicking lechery.

 

Frightned and nude and covered in shit, Pearl had no interest in getting to know what Goujon John was selling. She forced herself to run over a patch of garbage that was nothing but used razor blades and lemon rinds.

 

She cried out and fell, lacerating her feces encrusted skin as Goujon John pounced on her like a nineties neon rape panther. “I will generously fill your holes with my dank, grey poupon,” he cheerfully promised as he pinned her down. “I will fill her pussy, your ass, your mouth and even your ears with over nine gallons of my delicious, dank, mustard.”

 

Pearl’s screams of help went unanswered. For a little while anyways.

 

She had just enough time to see Goujon John’s pants come undone without the aid of his hands. His dick was actually a chicken finger; a very old and stale one at that with some hair on it.

 

Before she could experience violation by chicken finger, Goujon John was torn to shreds by a giant demon puma. A tank of a wild cat, the large, purple demon puma shook its white main and sent guts and mustard flying everywhere.

 

Pearl tried to crawl through the razor blades and lemon rinds, only to be stopped by a titanic beast with most of its small head covered by a crash helmet. Preventing any further avenues of escape, a skinny beast covered entirely in spikes and barbs rounded out the trio of demons.

 

All Pearl could do was pray. “God, I’ve served you all my life, please help me.”

 

The world shattering bellow of rage was not God.

 

A huge . . . thing came stomping over the piles of garbage, the heat of its rage sending everything it touched bursting into flame. The giant brass Minotaur breathed fire into the air and waved a giant chainsaw axe. Its left fists waved, revealing a large ruby stone set into the heavy gauntlets.

 

A glass shattering shriek further cut through the din, as a massive medusa anemone monster floated towards the confrontation. Ice crystals formed wherever the phallic snake tentacles touched and on one slimy, semi sentient arm a giant sapphire stone gleamed.

 

Through the darkness of hell, more and more demons were gathering to fight over Pearl’s soul and Pearl’s holes.

 

“God, don’t abandon me, now,” Pearl cried, “I’ve hated everyone you hated, hurt everyone you wanted to hurt. It can’t have been for nothing!”

 

“SHE’S MINE!” bellowed one voice above all the rest.

 

Garnet crashed into the horde of gathering demons and knocked them down like nine pins. With a massive armored fist, she grabbed the purple puma by the throat and tore its jaw right off. Throwing it aside like so much trash, she blocked flailing akimbo strikes from the skinny blade demon.

 

The giant battering ram beast charged, only for Garnet to bring up her gauntlets and crush its crash helmet from the side. Kicking away the knife beast, she grabbed the bulky ram beast and snapped its neck like a dry noodle. Another kick sent the knife beast fling into a burning pit of oil off the horizon.

 

Cords of muscle worked and the towel she’d tied around her neck billowed like a cape. Garnet was the picture of blind psychotic hatred that can never be fixed or tamed. Like an abused child’s idea of a supervillain, she fell onto the hordes of hell with barbarous cruelty and unquenchable bloodlust.

 

Feeding on the blood of the wicked, Garnet was invigorated and empowered. She stomped and howled like a bastard maniac at her mothers, Ruby and Sapphire. “SHE’S MINE! YOU’LL GET HER WHEN I’M DONE!”

 

Ruby howled back with anger equal to that of Garnet, swinging her mighty chainsaw axe. Sapphire attacked with magic spells of impossible cold and razor sharp ice.

 

Pearl was weeping, curled up into a ball. She was beyond saving now. She could see it.

 

Her suspicion was confirmed when a pink haired demon with multiple spikes and hooks in its flesh shambled over to her. Sheena had come to say hello after spending an eternity rotting in hell.

 

Suddenly the entire foundation of Hell shifted as something rose up from the very center of the Devil’s Domain.

 

Every demon froze in fear and terror, some scattering and others bowing in submission to their one master, their one god.

 

Only Garnet stood tall before the one true master of Hell . . . Rebecca Sugar.

 

“SHE’S MINE! I DEMAND HER SOUL BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST AND THE PACT OF BLOOD!”

 

Lord Sucrose saw this . . . and it was good.

 

“PEARL JOSEPHINE PRINGLE, AS MY RIGHTFUL WIFE, YOU WILL SATISFY MY LUST AND BEAR MY CHILDREN. NOW YOU WILL KNOW MY BODY!” Garnet’s proclamation carried with it all the authority of the Grand Ruler of Hell and the Master of all Evil.

 

Pearl’s voice was lost as from Garnet’s moist vagina, a giant oil drill popped up like a boner.

 

Her last scream was made when Garnet pinned her to the ground and took her in front of her two mothers by violent force in lust and hatred.


End file.
